Months have a life of their own

It's funny how months take on their own characters, and it's nothing to do with the weather, the seasons or social conventions.
For me February is a happy month - lots of birthdays to celebrate and happy memories re-conjured.  November too has more than its fair share of birthdays and is a time when I feel very close to my family even though I'm half the world away.
April, however, is a haunted month. It is bad enough that I have swapped excited the Spring time anticipation of the UK for the crisp, darker mornings and falling leaves of New Zealand's autumn.  But April is also haunted by the anniversaries of many bereavements, from my first real experience of losing a family member (paternal grandfather) to my most recent (my maternal grandmother) which still makes my heart heavy and my throat tighten after 4 short years.
It's not that I dread April's arrival.  There's no point in that as I can no more put it off than stop the leaves falling from the trees.  Rather, I spend the whole month feeling raw and a little shaky, my usually tough outer shell marred by a myriad of cracks and fractures that let the tears seep out when I least expect it.
My heart breaks afresh every year, and ghosts of cuddles past crowd into my waking mind, random snapshots appearing in the photo album of my memory and even other senses taking a trip down nostalgia avenue.  Why is it I wake up thinking of the familiar, comfortable smell of my nan's house?  Beeswax and lavender furniture polish mixed with stale cigarette smoke have never featured in houses I've owned but remain as fresh today as when my six-year old self would push open the back door and rush in for a cuddle on her lap.
My grandfather sits in his armchair, and his short bristly mustache scratches as I give him the obligatory kiss - not so familiar is his house where ornaments can't be touched and the poodle rules the roost - 30 years old or more that memory is, yet it feels like it was impressed on my grey matter last week.
And further back still, my great grandmother sitting in her corner chair, watching my cousins and me share out the chocolate bars from her bottom drawer and the 5pence pieces from the jar.  She was so pleased when I picked her birthday for my teenage wedding, and although she died a few months before that day I'm sure that she was sitting there in one of her best wedding hats as I walked down the aisle in our village church.
So here I sit, in the middle of this most haunted of months, smiling through impending tears.  It is not a month to be feared, but it is distinctly bittersweet  - happy happy memories mixed inextricably with the ache of loss.
Sorry to be a little maudlin today.  It's probably because I'm writing this in my car, sitting outside a local funeral director's office waiting for my son to emerge.  He is stepping up as a newish boyfriend to support his young lady at her father's funeral.  I am proud of him beyond words, and so would my grandfather, my nan and my great grandmother be if they could see him now.

I love holidays!

I love holidays, because I get to spend time doing the things I love doing - like writing here!  The only trouble with this is that when school starts again I'm going to have a hard time sustaining this pace!
However, I have just discovered the Suitcase Entrepreneur, Natalie Sissons, and I'm going to take her 15 day blog challenge so you can expect to see some more regular blogging from now on.

Today I am mostly feeling grateful.  Grateful that I have such a wonderful husband (who is also my best friend) and two awesome teenage sons, grateful that I have the freedom to work at home or in my office as the mood takes me, grateful that it is raining today and freshening up our very dry environment.  I love my work space (but not all the clutter that has accumulated.... must do something about that this week!), the fact I have a new Colin Thompson jigsaw puzzle to do over the weekend, my bonkers dog who has showered me with love at every opportunity since I went away over the Easter weekend and my killer heels that I'm wearing today.

I was recently involved with a Pechakucha Night in town, and am pondering topics for the future.  I ought to be brave enough to get up and speak, but it's narrowing down the things I might talk about.  If you're not familiar with the format, it has been run in 800 cities globally, and has been around since 2003.  Speakers share 20 images, and have 20 seconds to talk to each image.  We held our inaugural event at the end of March, and sold out our local Art Gallery - 130 people!  Our 12 speakers were fascinating, and I can't wait until the next one  in June.  Somehow I've ended up on the organising committee for it, so you can expect to hear a lot more about it from now on!
In fact you could check it out for yourself at http://www.pechakucha.org
Enjoy!

A woman of many hats - and shoes!

Still no cape in sight for me, but the opportunity to swap hats and take on a different role for the next 10 days.  And of course every different job comes with its own particular shoes - most of them gorgeous!
The teacher's mortarboard and professional court shoes get put to one side, and for the long Easter weekend I wore my photographer's assistant's sunhat and comfortable hiking boots as we photographed the jet sprints down in Wanaka.  What a beautiful part of our country that is, and we enjoyed fabulous weather as well.
Now we are back home again, so my mum's hat is back in use alternating with my business hat.  So fabulous stilettos are a must - today's sport vibrant red and pink flowers against a black backdrop!

I used to keep my favourite shoes for best occasions only, but this year I have decided to wear them at every opportunity.  After all, life is short and uncertain.  Wear the things that make you feel fabulous, be they hats, shoes or sparkly jewellery.  Often I hear other people talking about things kept "for best".... and if it gives you pleasure to simply know those things are in your cupboard waiting for you then that is fine and dandy.  My granddad was like that - if he knew he had a hand-knitted jumper in his drawer that he hadn't worn yet, he felt like a rich man.

But in my book, shoes are meant to be worn, earrings look better on me than in my jewellery box and  bone china cups were created to hold Earl Grey tea not gather dust on a shelf.  If it makes you happy, then do it, wear it, use it.  The same goes for your brain - it was meant to be used, to think, question, create, debate.

Life's short - wear your party pants!  (or Carpe diem, if you prefer a more cultured phrase to quote!)

Change of scene

So... I'm hanging up the teacher's hat this morning (a rare weekend without any school work) and heading off to Hastings to photograph the jet sprint racing boats over there.  It's actually part of one of my other jobs - photographer's assistant - and I love the change of pace.
I'll spend Sunday in the pit area, taking photos of the racers  and crew without their race helmets on, catching the intense concentration that they have as they wait on the starting grid for their turn on the track, and grabbing some choice quotes for the race report that I'll write on the way home late tomorrow night.
I'm totally NOT a petrolhead, but this is a lot of fun, and the people in the racing community are great.  It is also a perfect antidote to a tough week in the classroom as it requires total concentration and there's no space for any of my class to float into my head when I'm supposed to be relaxing!
If you would like to see more of the jetsprinting, check out www.jetsprint.co.nz
And if you're near Hastings on Sunday 8th, pop out to Crownthorpe and see the action for yourself.  Bring a picnic, sunscreen and a smile... but no work!

The power of the written word

We all know how powerful the written word can be - it can make you laugh out loud, it can make you cry buckets, it can transport you through time and space, and allow you to be anyone you want to be.  The two guest bloggers I shared my page with last week were not so sure about the power of the written word - they see writing as something you do at school, and it might have some relevance when you leave school but it might not.  They are becoming avid readers, but don't see themselves as writers.  Or at least, they didn't see themselves as writers until Monday.
On Monday I showed them the responses to their blog posts.  They were amazed that people who they didn't know, and would probably never meet, would take time to read their writing and respond to it.  These girls grew in confidence, right in front of my eyes. And since then, they have referred to themselves as writers.
So thank you to those who took the time to read their recounts. And thank you a thousand times over to those who cared enough to comment.  You have made their day - and hopefully have paved the way for them to have a rich writing life too.
I may not post here very regularly (no change there, then) because now I have to set up a class blog - they all want a go.  And I will, because the authentic audience is one way for them to share their own authentic voice as a writer.
Watch this space!

Another guest blogger: Boobear went to leadership day too!

"The mud run".....sounds interesting   huh??........well maybe.....not really but anyway I did it last year so I know all about it and yeah it's pretty smelly, deep and thick. This is how the "mud run" went:
other schools and my school, we made our way to what I call a "mud pie" or "mud mania"  or  "the dirty swamp".
I tried to sprint through the mud but it was like a boat just sunk then when I got near the end "oh boy" here comes "the dirty swamp" it looked worst than what I thought but I got a lot of help to get out.
"Plonk!" I just sat there until two year eight girls  (Lisa and Stevie) told me to swim to the side (after they tried to get me out)
"Yay!" I got out! I ran up the bank. "Bam" mud run over "yayy yeah".

Boobear

Guest blog: Our leadership day.

Today's post is by a guest blogger.  This student in my class is definitely a superwoman in the making... but she hasn't earned her cape yet!  So, without further ado, let me introduce Wonder girl and her recount about a recent school Leadership Day.

On Friday the 13th the year 7&8 students went to Green pastures for  leadership day. The first thing we did was the mud run. Now as you should know not many girls like to be covered in mud from head to toe. Well I was one of them. Except I wasn't covered from head to toe. I was only covered up to my chest.

 I walked into the first bit of the mud and it was so watery and then I pulled on the rope  and I slid right in. There was a little bit of a slide. After that I took the shortcut along the bushes. I got to the other side of the deep deep bit and we had to help heaps of other people.

 Stevie and I were extremely exhausted after getting Boobear out of the really deep part. The deepest part would probably go over Stevie's head or maybe just up to her eyebrows or even just up to her forehead. The deep part would've only been up to my nose. I'm amazed how some of the boys didn't mind the mud.

 There was one flat bit on it that had a big leaf on it and I stood on it and it turned out to be a big giant hole. My ankle hurt so badly after that. It was time to wash off in the lake. I thought it would be freezing in the lake but it was actually really warm. We were allowed to bomb in,jump in and all that. There was this one funny bit where my shoe fell off in and I was searching underwater for my shoe. That was funny. It was the best part about the leadership day.

Celia Lashlie - gone but never forgotten.

I suspect that many people in New Zealand have been feeling slightly discombobulated this week with the out-of-the-blue news that Celia Lashlie was fighting pancreatic cancer - and then the news following so hard on its heels that the cancer had won.
I choose my words carefully - I am certain that she was fighting to the end because that's the sort of woman she seemed to be.
I only met her a couple of times, at conferences where she was the keynote speaker and I was a lowly workshop host.  She spoke for an hour each time, eloquent, passionate, forthright and caring.  And although the conferences were close together, and the topic was the same, her speech was different each time.  She clearly had some key points that she wanted to make, but seemed to speak from the heart as if each occasion was the first upon which she had decided to bring the topic up.
It was clearly Celia the person we were listening to rather than a slick, polished public persona - she spoke to the room full of teachers as if she were with friends at home - and I must confess to some delight at the surprised faces the first time she dropped an f-bomb in the middle of a sentence.  She spoke honestly, without fudging any issues and in such a matter-of-fact way about some truly appalling situations, and you just had to take notice of her message.
I had read her book on raising boys, and brought many of those insights to my roles as parent of teenage boys and as a teacher of pre-teens.  But hearing her speak made it all make so much more sense.
Her incredible sense of outrage at the way society deals with some issues, and her unwavering faith in the basic goodness of human nature all resonated with me.  The compassion and humanity she brought to all aspects of her life and work shone through her words.
She leaves some very big shoes to fill in the field of social justice.  She is a tough act to follow, but we need to hope that somebody does.  The vulnerable and the disenfranchised need another champion.  Our politicians and pundits need somebody to tell it like it is and keep them honest.  Our troubled teens need a beacon to light their way towards the adulthood they deserve.
Celia Lashlie.  Gone but never forgotten.

Ask a busy person.

It is said that if you want something done you should ask a busy person.  I don't know if that's generally true, and I prefer the term "active" to "busy" but I do know that I've achieved an awful lot this weekend and it feels fabulous!

I've got well under way with my start of year planning and organising for things at work.  We've had a couple of short weeks because of the start of year and public holidays, and next week is my first full week of the year.  I have a delightful class, and only 18 children, so the emphasis is very much on peronalised learning for them.  It's a bit more work for me, but the results are worth it.

I've also been inspired to make some games for my maths classes - as we work across the whole school for Maths Cafe I now have to teach place value to children from 5 years old to 13 years old (not at the same time, obviously!).  I saw a brilliant workshop session at the recent Teachers Matter conference in Rotorua, led by an inspirational teacher called Libby Slaughter.  She had so many ideas for games and activities for the younger students, and I just had to try some out.  Once I got started I found more and more ideas popping out, so I had to visit our local gold coin shop and buy an assortment of fly swats, pom poms, mini-pegs and plastic cups.  Check out my other blog (http://maths-and-me.blogspot.co.nz/) to look at the maths things I've been getting up to.

This morning I also had a 90 minute planning meeting with my husband, getting next week straight in the company that he owns.  It is an exciting time for him as he is launching a new venture, and there are lots of elements that need attention.  We plan together at the weekend, and he spends the week working through his to-do list!

Apart from that, I've managed to get 3 loads of washing done, and a press release written for the Jetsprint Association - my husband's other company is contracted to the NZJSA to provide publicity for their championship each year, so he takes the most awesome action photos and I support behind the scenes with press releases, race reports and pit lane photos.

And inside all of that I've also made time to do some reading for pleasure, stroll by the river holding hands with my husband and eating yummy gelato, and relax in a long hot bath with a bathbomb from my favourite organic toiletry company.

So quite a busy weekend, but so much fun.  Maybe they're right.  If you want something done, ask an active person!

Well you learn something new.....

I love learning new things, and I love technology.  So when I can learn something new about technology it's double exciting.
Today I was holding the first meeting of the new year with the PRT 2 that I'm mentoring, and once we had finished the business of the day I asked her about Pinterest.  I know she uses it, and I have registered but not done much with it.  But today I got a great session of personalised learning and now I am more comfortable using Pinterest - and I feel that it will be a useful addition to my online presence.
It may not be rocket science, and it may even seem really obvious to many of you reading this, but to me it was just one more thing that I was meaning to get to but didn't have time to learn it from scratch.  Thanks to my lovely young colleague I've got the grounding I need to make it work for me.
It just goes to show that you are never too old to learn, and that new technology is not that scary once you have the basic idea of what the application, programme or website is about.
Mostly it is about having enough time to explore the new things so that you can get the best from them.  It will never be handed to you on a plate, so you have to go out and make the time, or make the most of the knowledge around you.

It's been a while....

It has been far too long since I managed to get here and put fingertips to keyboard.  To say that life has been active is somewhat of an understatement!  I deliberately didn't say "busy" as I have removed that word from my vocabulary.  It has such negative connotations and holds stress in its double syllable - "busy" feels like you are imposed upon and your busy-ness is outside your control.  Strangely, the synonymous "active" has a much nicer feel to it.  Active is a choice, and it is a good thing.  An active lifestyle is good for you, and keeps you well and healthy.
So I revel in my active life, and thank my lucky stars every day that as well as a probationary superwoman I am also the Queen of Logistics, which means I can fit everything in to each day.
I am teaching full time this year with a class of Y5 - 8 students.  My school is a small rural one, so in addition to classroom teaching we all muck in and do all the things that need to be done -duties, clearing up, sink unblocking, chicken feeding and so on.
I am also still running my education business, which is growing slowly but surely, and I've been running workshops from Levin to Waiouru, and from Palmerston North to Hawera (and all points in between).  We've held sessions for Teacher Aides, classroom teachers, management teams and PRTs (provisionally registered teachers, who are in their first 2 year of teaching).  It has been so much fun, and it makes me feel great to spread enthusiasm and ideas through these sessions with school staff.  I feel like I can make a real difference to more children in classrooms if I can help to upskill the staff that work with them.
In addition to teaching and teacher-training, I have also been working in my husband's business helping out with his paperwork and planning, as well as photographing the behind-the-scenes shots on some of his jobs.
I have also been studying with Massey University as part of my training to be a maths support teacher... so 2 university papers over the last 2 years, and an A- for last year's work.  I really enjoyed being involved with a university again, and loved the access to their library.  My one grizzle was that I didn't have the time to do the reading around the subject that I wanted to... and that my university library access has ended now that my papers are finished.  But hey, on reflection I didn't do too badly and thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of being a student again.
So in 2015 I intend to do a lot more blogging and writing, now that I'm not doing 60 hours of reading for each essay I have to write.  After all, that's a lot of "free time" I'll have now, and I can't stand to be idle.
I'd much rather be active.