Here we go again!

 I'm not really very good at this game, am I?

Just as I think I get life sorted, and can blog regularly.... well, something leaps out of left field and flattens me!

There is almost nothing in my life at the moment that existed when I last wrote.  I still have my sons.  I am still an educator.  I still identify as female.

That's it.

I entered the crucible, and emerged.... my life changed beyond belief.  So once again, in the words of Jerome Kern's song from 1936, I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.  A different job, a different house - heck, even a different country from last time.  A new hip, a new hairstyle and colour.  And a new attitude.

So once again I celebrate my ability to fall down seven times and get up eight, to reinvent myself and my life, remaking it in a better, stronger way than before.

The cape is totally creased now, and the tights have quite a few runs and ladders in them... but you can't stop a superwoman for long, not even a probationary one!   I've been in exile, recovering from a nasty encounter with my kryptonite, and now I'm back.  

Older.  

Wiser.  

Stronger.

Let's see if I get this off the ground finally!  See you again soon (pinky promise!) but I've gotta fly!

Responding with Awe and Wonder

As I'm resetting my life after some monumental changes, I'm also resetting my morning and evening routines and my thought patterns.
I have been rejecting the things that no longer suit me:

• giving away clothes that no longer make me feel fabulous; 
• giving away books that I no longer want to read (and when you're housing around 2000 books that's a lot of potential giveaways!);
• putting aside thought patterns that don't serve me well - the negative self-talk, self-deprecating humour (that I'm so good at, but is only half in jest), pain from physical conditions I'm too scared to face up to;
• working to change habits that don't support the best version of myself - comfort or boredom eating, staying up until 2am because I can't be bothered to get off the sofa, making excuses for things I don't want to do;
• tolerating people who are negative, narcissistic, bigoted, racist, homophobic.

And instead I'm filling my life slowly with things that bring me joy and help me become the best version of me that I can be.

• I use my favourite beautiful china mugs every day instead of keeping them for "special occasions" (and the same for other things in my household... bedding, towels, crockery, flower vases);
• I only wear clothes that feel good against my skin and make me feel fabulous;
• I'm reading books that make me think and help me grow as a person;
• I'm talking to myself kindly, respectfully, lovingly, as I do to my friends (but which I've never done to myself);
• I get up earlier and try to get to bed earlier;
• I'm making more art, sewing more, writing a little more each day;
• I'm planning more for myself and my business (I used to be good at helping other people plan, but never found time to apply my strategies to my own life!) and making sure I action those plans;
• I'm putting myself out of my comfort zone, and tackling challenges instead of avoiding them - this includes health challenges that I'm getting sorted even though it means significant surgery and recovery time... and I'll have to ask for and accept help from people around me.... more on how hard that is another time.

And the biggest one - I am actively looking for things every day that I can respond to with gratitude, and with awe and wonder.  I find it easy to find things around me every day that are so spectacular they take my breath away - sunrises, birdsong, my amazing sons, art, music, other people - but I've been struggling to find things internally to be grateful for.  So now every evening I reflect on the day and find something about myself that I'm grateful for, and something about myself that has filled me with awe or wonder (or pride.... I am finding it easier to be proud of things I do rather than dismissing them).
Yesterday I was proud of my intellect that allowed me to create a connection map of a complex organisation that I knew very little about, and I did that during a phone conversation rather than face to face so I exercised all my listening and questioning skills.  And my client was thrilled with it.
And I am in awe of my hairdresser's memory - she sees so many people in the times between my haircuts, but she picks up the conversation and all the personal details as if there had not been a 5 week gap since the last sentence was spoken. Wow!  Interpersonal skills of the highest order, and also the best hairdresser I've found in our town (and I've tried lots of them!)
So what has made you respond with awe and wonder this week?  If you can't think of anything, take some extra time today to look round you and you'll be surprised at just how awesome the world can be.

Sorry I've been Missing In Action.... but I'm back!

Wow!  It certainly has been a long time between drinks on this page!  I can only humbly apologise for my extreme tardiness in posting and beg your forgiveness.

So much has changed since I last wrote...

• both my children are now adults
• I'm now 50
• I've left one career behind me after 28 years and am embarking on a new one
• I've also left a marriage behind me after 26 years... but I have no plans to embark on a new one of those!
• I've written a book, which will hopefully  be published later this year
• one of my paintings has been exhibited in our regional art gallery for 10 weeks
• I am going to be a featured artist for a month in a local shop
• I've created a popular community fundraising event in my town which now runs 4 times a year supporting local charities.

And now you know why I really haven't had much time to post here... my tights were in a tangle and my superhero cape needed a darn or two to cover the gaps!

But NOTHING can keep a superhero underground for long, not even a probationary one!

My intention is to post on a much more regular  basis from now on, sharing the love, my insights on life and hopefully a little fun as I go!

Watch this space!

Not a muggle any more!

Don't worry, I haven't recently relocated to Hogwarts, nor am I suddenly only 11 again!  I'm still the same lovely unmagical me.... but I have recently joined a "secret" community which separates me from many of the rest of you muggles.  Yes.  It's out and in the open.  I'm now a geocacher.

My dearly beloved husband has snorted with derision at last year's Pokemon Go craze, and has dismissed our local Whanganui Rocks community out of hand (check out the Fb page if you're not sure what it is... it loosely involves painting and hiding rocks, finding other people's painted rocks and either keeping or rehiding them. It has been a great way for families to get out and about our lovely city's parks and gardens with their children over the school holiday) but was quite intrigued with the idea of geocaching.

So this afternoon we decided to give it a go.  He had created a profile for us on an app, and found that there were a couple of sites in our city centre, so off we went.  A brisk walk down to the river led to the first victorious discovery (I'm quite pleased there are hints and photos or we'd never have spotted it because it was only 1cm x 1cm x 1cm!), but the second one proved a little bit more difficult to track down.  We got there in the end, and a very satisfying conclusion it was too - especially as it was no more than writing our name on the geolog and dating it!

So on top of working full time, writing a book, running 2 companies and giving professional development workshops every week until Easter, I now have a new hobby too!

We decided that we'd try and get out every Saturday afternoon to do a spot of geocache hunting - and next weekend will take us much further afield as we're driving our eldest son back to university.  I can't wait to see what we find there!  But I do know I'll wear more appropriate footwear - geocaching is murder on 4" stiletto heels!

Treasures

I've been reflecting a lot on gratitude, and the ability to be thankful for what you have.  Too often people concentrate on the things that they have not got but really want rather than appreciating the treasures they have in front of them.

I've had my first week back at work, and although my class is quite large and it is not going to be an easy class, the children in it are by-and-large good kids.  Some have been dealt a raw deal by life, and some will challenge me through the year in a range of ways, but they are good kids at heart and I must remember that on the days that are less easy.  I'm spending a little bit of time this weekend writing a postcard to each of them welcoming them back to school and telling them one thing they've done this week that I appreciated.  I'll pop them in the post on Tuesday and wait for them to receive them in their mailbox at home.

And even on the days when my job feels difficult, challenging, frustrating and all those other things that teaching can be, I must remember that I have a job that I love, in a school where I feel valued, supported and appreciated.  So many people don't have jobs to get up for every day, or worse still, get up for jobs that they hate going to.

This afternoon I spent some time in the emergency department of our local hospital (not through choice, you understand, but because one of my nearest and dearest needed help.... situation resolved now, thank goodness!).  I was there about three hours, during which time we were helped by the receptionist, at least five different nurses, a doctor, two porters, an orderly and a radiographer.  Behind the scenes, somebody was running blood tests on our behalf.  There were periods of time when we were left to our own devices and didn't see anyone for a while, but the department was busy the whole Sunday afternoon that we were there.
A lady in the bed on the other side of the privacy curtain had been there a little longer than us, and she was clearly in some pain.  When her friends arrived she let rip about how bored she was, how she'd been ignored, how she'd been promised a bed on a ward in ten minutes' time (over an hour ago) and how she had no idea what was going on.  Her friends listened for a while, and I think they appreciated it was her pain and fear speaking, but finally one stopped her and said, "They're doing their best for you.  They're really busy out there, but they'll get to you when they can.  You're in the best place, and you're being looked after."
I wanted to go round the privacy curtain and give her friend a hug.  Because we are lucky.  When something goes wrong for us we can turn up to the hospital and be seen (in our case) within 3 minutes.  We get blood tests and x-rays, we get the machines that go 'ping' and monitor our vital signs.  An orderly changes the sheets on a bed as soon as a patient has left, and wipes everything down with sterile wipe and anti-bacterial spray.  We are offered a seat, chilled clean water to drink and a sandwich if we're there for a while.
We are lucky.

We should treasure these little things that we take for granted.  And that includes our nearest and dearest.  They are there as part of our lives, and it is important to tell them how much we appreciate that.

I'm grateful for my loved ones around me.  I appreciate the unconditional love that my dog shows every time I look her way.  I am thankful for the fact we have a great hospital in my town, that I have a car to get me there when I need to, that the staff are there with a smile on their faces even during the busy times, and that we had clean, comfortable surroundings while we were there.

I am especially grateful that I could bring my loved one home in one piece with me today.  That's the best feeling.

Heigh ho, heigh ho....

Well the heady days of summer are just kicking in for real, but it's time to leave my idyllic at-home existence for the hurly-burly of the classroom.  There are exciting times ahead, as this year is full of potential, but potential comes at a price.

Hopefully the well-laid routines that I have established during the long summer holiday will see me and my little family through the busy days of Term 1... and they are certain to be busy because they always are.

Time to test the trusty cape and tights again - hopefully next week I'll be able to regale you with stories about how brilliant my new class are!

Paying it forward.

We have had a lovely day out with our teenage sons today.  We didn't go far, geographically, as the destination was our home town - a mere five minutes by car.  We did, however, travel back in time as it was the Vintage Weekend.  This is a celebration of all things Vintage, with our main street lined with vintage cars (everything you can imagine from 1906 to 1980!), shopkeepers and stallholders at the market dressed in a range of vintage fashions, Generation Wedding Dress and Steampunk fashion shows, buskers, stage bands, traction engine rides and generally lots of family fun.

This evening my husband went out to do some photography.  It was not quite work, as he wasn't getting paid for any of it, but good photos come from practise not purchase so he enjoys the chance to shoot something out of the ordinary for once.  And last night, it was just about as out of the ordinary as you could get!  He was photographing the Vintage Weekend Burlesque Show, which featured a range of performers of both genders, and which had a sell-out audience.

He left home at 5.00 and didn't get home until nearly midnight, because he helped with the final set-up and also with the tidy-up afterwards.  How could he not?  The organiser's a friend of ours, and she needed a hand.  He will also spend the next couple of days working on the images, making sure they are all just right before he releases them onto the Victory Burlesque Facebook page.  They are all downloadable and if any performers need a higher resolution image for promotional material they just email him and he makes it available to them.

He doesn't earn any money from this, and it takes hours of his time. So why does he do it? (and the roller derby games, the trolley derby on Monday, the opening of the new RSA cafe, my school leavers' formal dinner etc etc etc)

Because we both believe in paying it forward.

Acts of generosity make our community a better place to be.  Everybody feels appreciated and valued - and they are more likely to behave in a lovely way as a result.

This is why we organise a pechakucha-style event in our town.  Called Pic/Chat 19/19 we have a number of speakers who talk about their passion.  They show 19 slides and talk for 19 seconds about each slide.  We work alongside a trio of people from our local art gallery (which was set up in 1919, hence the timeframes) to contact speakers, hire the venue, serve the refreshments and send handwritten thankyou notes to our speakers after the event.  I curate the Facebook page, and post twice a week about the event, including photographs and video of the speakers.

We fill our venues every time, but make no profit - that's not what it's about.  We cover our costs, and do this voluntarily, taking no money for ourselves either.  That's not what it's about.

Be the change you want to see in the world, said Ghandi.  Well I'd like people to be more open, more kind and more generous with each other, and I guess that starts with me.